Thoughts, Weekend

Why We Have To Check our White Friends When They Use the N-Word​.

With everything going on in the media these days surrounding the use of the N-word, I felt it was only right to deliver a synopsis on why we as black people must hold our counterparts accountable when they use the word in our presence. I think the reason for the recent spike in the bravery of non-people of color using the term not only sparks from the election of their president but also simply that they don’t have friends checking them on their shit. I’m not putting all of the blame on them though. You’d be surprised how many people can just laugh it off when Greg or Samantha jump stupid. Now you may have heard all of the excuses under the sun, and I am here to tell you that none of them are valid.

First, it does not matter who they are friends with or who they grew up around. That is completely irrelevant to the narrative. Furthermore, those friends they may be speaking of are not you. To just assume that because their childhood friends let them say it, that you should let them say it is just wrong. This comes back to the accountability that I mentioned earlier. They aren’t used to being held accountable, hence the people they grew up around. So now it is up to you to actually set some standards for them to follow.

Something that has nothing to do with checking these friends is just the fact that they shouldn’t want to say the word. The N-word has a heavy history, a history that depending on the friend, their ancestors started. Your great great grandfather Jefferson definitely wore out the original term enough for you not to want to even whisper it. I can understand that it may seem cool, because we reclaimed the word and use it completely different now, but still you just shouldn’t want to be in on this one.  This stumbles into my next point…somethings are just for us by us. Everything isn’t for you and this doesn’t just go for the N-word, but this applies to life as well. Just like you know you can’t handle the conversion of day drinking into going out for the night, know that you can’t handle this either.

And for those of you who are “famous”, I would for damn sure just leave the word alone entirely if your skin tone doesn’t match because Black Twitter does not forgive.


Poor YesJulz is the most recent victim. After posting a picture to Twitter featuring the N-word on an article of clothing that she considered wearing to an upcoming festival, she was hit with so much hate that she was even dropped from two upcoming events in Toronto. She has since taken to Snapchat to apologize in a slew of videos where she speaks empty I’m sorry’s aligned with some thrifty crocodile tears. Cases like this make me wonder if she even has any black friends with any sense. I mean this is a girl who openly profits off the culture for her own financial gain. You would think she would have some type of friend or maybe even a decent publicist to tell her she should leave the N-word off all her social media accounts. And it’s not just NahJulz, a reporter in Atlanta recently resigned after sliding in a Twitter user’s DMs using the word to try and get the latest scoop. I don’t even feel bad for the Jenny’s at this point, no one can legit be that stupid.

“I don’t want to make it awkward.” Why are you worrying about this? If it is awkward it is very easy to drop their ass. We are supposed to be checking our friends for the dumb shit they do on a daily. And if you are worried about making something awkward, then they really can’t be solid friends, my guy. Another one I love, “It’s just a song. Am I supposed to censor myself?” Hell yes. I don’t care what you have lined up on your iPod when the song comes on and we’re out, you sing the clean version. You don’t mouth, you don’t say it…you can think it, but yes you censor yourself. This is just best for both of us, especially if we are out in public. Could you imagine, you are out with your white friend and they just freely rap the N-word along to the song around other black people they don’t know? All I know is if five random OGs want to jump you because you couldn’t censor yourself, you are taking that beating alone homie. 😅😅😅 I might even get a couple kicks in for the culture and for you potentially putting me in danger.

In conclusion, it does not matter what part of the “White Spectrum” your friend sits on. Machine Gun Kelly white can’t say it just as much as Voted For Donald Trump white can’t. And just remember that it is up to us to educate and hold up the standard in everything we do. Sometimes people just jump stupid out of ignorance, and if they are truly your friend they will understand where you are coming from.

Thanks for rocking with me through 20 posts of The Black Grad Life. When I wrote my first sentence on here, I didn’t know if I was going to be consistent with this or where it was going to take me. I have enjoyed having this outlet for my thoughts and views, and I will continue as long as I have you here reading with me.

Yours Truly,



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